Once upon a time, there was a family of wooks,
All of their lives were spent being crooks.
But they woke up one day,
And to their sorrow dismay,
Realized they can't read books.
"Oh Nugjar," The alpha wook said,
“I'll give you heady crystals, they'll grow you a dred.”
So little Nugjar stared, his mouth open wide
“I want some Dreds now!” He loudly cried.
When Star came home, she was definitely spun
She got in the Winnebago and yelled “Look! I have won!”
She held the beef jerky up with pride in the air,
“Look! It’s a feast” and all the wooks stared
They ate the beef jerky, now asleep where they fell,
Across the lot, you could hear the older wooks yell,
“I’m tired of you noobs, you weren’t around before”
Their beards were dreded, tie-dye they wore.
It was getting late now, most of the drugs sold were bunk
The molly was gone, the beers were all drunk
The wook-money was spent; the alcohol shwilled
There were wooks all around, hunting for pills
They would yell “SPANGE” at the passerbys near
Hoping for cash they could have for a year
When wook-husband awoke; something was near him
It was his wook-wife, sporting a flat-brim
She said “You know, your dreds, I really do adore”
He yelled “Roll me a joint, you silly whore!!”
The nugs were gone, the heroin shot
Nugjar stumbled out of the van and said “I’LL SEE YOU ON LOT!”
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Mansfield 10
Man spends two days trapped in Mansfield storm drain
Mansfield —
A man who dodged police last month allegedly spent two days below ground eluding authorities, according to Mansfield police.
Officers were called to the Chauncy Street Stop & Shop June 25 after receiving a report of an unwanted patron who appeared intoxicated.
Upon his arrival, Officer Roy Bain was directed toward a man covered in cuts and scrapes sitting on a curb next to the supermarket gas station. The man’s T-shirt was dirty and appeared to have dried blood on the sleeves, according to Bain.
“The guy was a complete mess,” Bain said. “Every part of his body not covered by clothes was covered in scrapes, scabs, or blood.”
According to police reports, supermarket employees first encountered the man a day earlier when he was discovered in a storm drain on the property.
The manager of the supermarket told Bain a woman had been pumping gas at the station the day before when she noticed a nearby manhole cover bobbing up and down. After reporting what she had seen to a gas station attendant, an employee lifted the cover of the manhole and discovered a man inside the storm drain.
The man, identified as Barton Gray, 31, of Lynn Road in Ivoryton, Conn., told Bain he had been in town for the Phish concert at the Comcast Center on June 22 and had been staying at the Red Roof Inn on Forbes Boulevard with two friends. He said he had become stranded in town and was at the supermarket waiting for someone to wire him some money.
After he was questioned further, Gray began to recount a strange tale.
He told Bain he had been trapped underground in the storm drain system for several days. He said he could not turn around in the storm drain due to the small size of the pipes, which are roughly two-feet in diameter, according to Bain. At one point, Gray said he thought he was going to suffocate while he was trapped below ground.
According to police reports, Gray’s fingertips and palms were blistered and covered in cuts, most likely from dragging himself through the drain pipes.
Noting Gray’s distressed physical appearance, Bain decided to transport Gray to Sturdy Memorial Hospital in Attleboro for evaluation. He left the man at the hospital and returned to work.
Bain later related the bizarre encounter to Mansfield court prosecutor, Kenneth Wright, who asked the officer what type of clothes Gray had been wearing.
After describing the bloodied t-shirt and other clothes the man had been dressed in, Bain was informed that Gray matched the description of a suspect who had been involved in an altercation with Officer Jeffrey Danner two days earlier.
While on patrol on June 23, Danner came across a crowd of about 30 people with balloons gathered in the rear parking lot of the Forbes Boulevard Red Roof Inn, according to an earlier police report. During the incident, which occurred around 1:55 a.m., the officer noticed a man in his mid-20s filling balloons and collecting money from people, leading him to conclude the balloons were being filled with nitrous oxide (more commonly known as laughing gas) or some other drug.
When he saw Danner approach, the man who had been filling the balloons ran away and allegedly threw rocks, change, balloons, and cans at the officer.
Danner ordered the man to stop several times, but he refused. Seeing the suspect reach into his right pocket, Danner drew his Taser gun and ordered the man to stop one last time before firing the Taser gun at the suspect.
According to police reports, only one of the gun’s two darts hit the subject, and the man was able to scale a nearby fence and escape into the woods adjacent to the hotel.
A barrier was set up along the nearby roadways while several officers scoured the area along Route 140 for the man. Despite their attempts, police were unable to locate the suspect.
“When he disappeared, he disappeared,” Bain said.
It was only after hearing the bizarre tale of the man who had been trapped in the storm drain that police were able to determine how the man had eluded police.
Bain, one of the department’s veteran officers, said the man’s tale is most likely the strangest thing he has encountered while on duty.
“In 15 years of policing, this has been the strangest (call),” he said.
No charges have been filed against Gray for his alleged involvement in the earlier incident, and there are no charges pending at this time.
“It was decided he had done his time,” Bain said.
Mansfield —
A man who dodged police last month allegedly spent two days below ground eluding authorities, according to Mansfield police.
Officers were called to the Chauncy Street Stop & Shop June 25 after receiving a report of an unwanted patron who appeared intoxicated.
Upon his arrival, Officer Roy Bain was directed toward a man covered in cuts and scrapes sitting on a curb next to the supermarket gas station. The man’s T-shirt was dirty and appeared to have dried blood on the sleeves, according to Bain.
“The guy was a complete mess,” Bain said. “Every part of his body not covered by clothes was covered in scrapes, scabs, or blood.”
According to police reports, supermarket employees first encountered the man a day earlier when he was discovered in a storm drain on the property.
The manager of the supermarket told Bain a woman had been pumping gas at the station the day before when she noticed a nearby manhole cover bobbing up and down. After reporting what she had seen to a gas station attendant, an employee lifted the cover of the manhole and discovered a man inside the storm drain.
The man, identified as Barton Gray, 31, of Lynn Road in Ivoryton, Conn., told Bain he had been in town for the Phish concert at the Comcast Center on June 22 and had been staying at the Red Roof Inn on Forbes Boulevard with two friends. He said he had become stranded in town and was at the supermarket waiting for someone to wire him some money.
After he was questioned further, Gray began to recount a strange tale.
He told Bain he had been trapped underground in the storm drain system for several days. He said he could not turn around in the storm drain due to the small size of the pipes, which are roughly two-feet in diameter, according to Bain. At one point, Gray said he thought he was going to suffocate while he was trapped below ground.
According to police reports, Gray’s fingertips and palms were blistered and covered in cuts, most likely from dragging himself through the drain pipes.
Noting Gray’s distressed physical appearance, Bain decided to transport Gray to Sturdy Memorial Hospital in Attleboro for evaluation. He left the man at the hospital and returned to work.
Bain later related the bizarre encounter to Mansfield court prosecutor, Kenneth Wright, who asked the officer what type of clothes Gray had been wearing.
After describing the bloodied t-shirt and other clothes the man had been dressed in, Bain was informed that Gray matched the description of a suspect who had been involved in an altercation with Officer Jeffrey Danner two days earlier.
While on patrol on June 23, Danner came across a crowd of about 30 people with balloons gathered in the rear parking lot of the Forbes Boulevard Red Roof Inn, according to an earlier police report. During the incident, which occurred around 1:55 a.m., the officer noticed a man in his mid-20s filling balloons and collecting money from people, leading him to conclude the balloons were being filled with nitrous oxide (more commonly known as laughing gas) or some other drug.
When he saw Danner approach, the man who had been filling the balloons ran away and allegedly threw rocks, change, balloons, and cans at the officer.
Danner ordered the man to stop several times, but he refused. Seeing the suspect reach into his right pocket, Danner drew his Taser gun and ordered the man to stop one last time before firing the Taser gun at the suspect.
According to police reports, only one of the gun’s two darts hit the subject, and the man was able to scale a nearby fence and escape into the woods adjacent to the hotel.
A barrier was set up along the nearby roadways while several officers scoured the area along Route 140 for the man. Despite their attempts, police were unable to locate the suspect.
“When he disappeared, he disappeared,” Bain said.
It was only after hearing the bizarre tale of the man who had been trapped in the storm drain that police were able to determine how the man had eluded police.
Bain, one of the department’s veteran officers, said the man’s tale is most likely the strangest thing he has encountered while on duty.
“In 15 years of policing, this has been the strangest (call),” he said.
No charges have been filed against Gray for his alleged involvement in the earlier incident, and there are no charges pending at this time.
“It was decided he had done his time,” Bain said.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Va. Beach 97
At Va. Bch. '97 the morning of the show, we were eating at a nice place somewhere near the boardwalk. My buddy who had accidently ate almost a whole sheet , and had been tripping and living in a shed in his yard alone for the last six months, gets convinced there is a microphone in his food. He says we all need to leave. As we are walking back to this old VW bus he asks my friend if there are any doses in our vehicle. My friend says, yeah, a few. My tripping buddy immediately starts hollering that we need to blow up our van, and accuses my girlfriend of being in the CIA, and me of having a gun. We go back to the KOA, where he starts smoking opium and saying very weird things about people on the radio talking to him and shit. He demands we take him to the airport. I told him once we got in the show he would calm down, but he insisted on the airport. Thing was, all our tickets for like the next 7 shows were at will call under his name. To make a long story short we pull into Newport News airport and he dives from the van at like 40 mph and does about 4 somersaults across the sidewalk right in front of about 50 people. He then proceeds to buy a ticket, but won't tell us where he is going. Then he says his money is marked and gave us like 500 dollars. He then broke his credit card into and thru it in the garbage because he though the FBI was tracking him with it. It was funny later, because we taped it together to get our tickets later. He is now fine, by the way he flew to Cincinatti for some reason.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
HELP!
"HELP! I've feden my dog acid! My dog is wiggin out and i need to knoow what to do, please responde with ideas"
"dim the lights and put on some allman brothers."
"dim the lights and put on some allman brothers."
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Heady Trade
This is really a tough decision for me, but I have a Black Labrador named Caterpillar that I’m willing to part with for a ticket to Trey Anastasio’s show at Music Hall of Williamsburg in Brooklyn on Thursday night. Caterpillar has never been to a Phish show — I’ve never been to a Phish show either, because I am 21 — but he has stayed in the car for a couple of Trey shows and been with me, non-stop, on Disco Biscuits tour for the past three years. Caterpillar knows the layout of Camp Bisco so well that he was singlehandedly able to lead me back to my tent in the middle of a number of trying incidents at CB7. (I had never done mescaline before. Never again.) Caterpillar also has been tough enough to survive after eating a number of crystals.
Anyways. This Trey show is really important to me, as it is in the vicinity of my birthday and I feel a near-tantric connection with Trey after watching the Walnut Creek DVD I bought yesterday. I have only $130 to my name at present and this has not been enough to score me a ticket. My parents will not help out on this one. They pay for my SUNY tuition and have recently set a cap on my jamband-related expenditures.
So. I am willing to part with Caterpillar if you are willing to part with a Trey ticket. Like I said, I feel that i MUST be there. I am ready to make the drive down from Scarsdale as soon as I get word from you. Caterpillar is worth at least $225, which is the lowest asking price right now on Stubhub, and I will throw in his dishes, collar and some frisbee golf discs he likes. He is up to date with his shots.
Please help me out on this. And if there is some kind soul out there who will sell for $130, and allow me to keep my dog, I will figure out a way to find six more dollars and buy that person a beer once I’m inside.
Thank you, namaste and Harpua,
- Chase
07/06/98 review
I remember the show like it was yesterday. I was there with my boy ferk. We had just got off the train and I scored some hard acid and half a vial of liquid. I was already stressed out with the dogs on the train and needed to get the once and half of weed and mushrooms off my person. So we get the hotel and check. We each ate an 8th of mush and went to find the show. When I got there I was sketched out about bringing the drugs in. So I was now just starting to feel the mushrooms. I went to this hot vender that was outside the show and bought to large hot dogs. I then Took the 6 hits of hard acid and put three each on each hot dog. Then I took the half vial of liquid and emptied it out evenly on both dogs. I then found my buddy ferk and handed him the unsuspecting hot dog and we went in. I waved at the ticket guy as I walked by him, now I was reAlly feeling the shroomz. My buddy thanked me for the hot dog(little did he know It was a laced with hard acid and liquid acid). My buddy never tripped before,only on shrromz. so I figured this was a good time to break him in. I watched him eat the whole thing then we smoked a bowl and waited for phish. We ere Gordon side. When the acid filled hot dog finally kicked in I shit myself during the cities...Thats how good of a cities it was! After that I lost my mind...I remember punching this girl in the face next to me when I heard the Bowie intro!!! I remember my buddy ferk...His eyes were wide as saucers and all black...I saw no white parts of his eyes. I then remember him screeming at the top of his lungs and also punching this hippie next to him when they came back on for the possum encore. It was a great show...We didn't come down for six days...When we came out of it we were in Italy. I have no idea to this day how w got there.
Milwaukee Craigslist
TO "PHISH" PEOPLE AT ALPINE VALLEY THIS WEEKENED (EAST TROY)
I HAVE LIVED OFF OF COUNTY HWY D NEAR ALPINE VALLEY FOR THE PAST 24 YEARS AND OFTEN FEEL THE RESIDUAL NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF THE CONCERTS. NEVER HAVE I HAD AN INCIDENT SUCH AS THE ONE THAT OCCURRED ON SATURDY NIGHT (JUN. 20) FOLLOWING A "PHISH" MUSICAL. OUR DOG WOKE US AT 1:30 AM MAKING A RUCKUS. WE HAVE A SMALL WARMING HOUSE NEAR THE EDGE OF THE HIGHWAY THAT I BUILT FOR OUR DAUGHTERS (NOW GROWN) TO WAIT FOR THE SCHOOLBUSES IN. THE LIGHT IN IT WAS ON AND SOMEONE WAS INSIDE. I PUT ON CLOTHES AND APPROACHED AND FOUND HIM DEFECATING ON THE FLOOR. HAD HAIR LOOKED LIKE A DOORMAT. EYES WERE BUGGY LIKE I REMEMBER ON MEN IN VIETNAM. I HAD A SHOTGUN AND TOLD HIM HE WAS GOING TO CLEAN UP THE DEFECATE. BUT I AM OLD (71 NOW) AND MADE A MISTAKE, RETURNING TO THE HOUSE TO GET A HOSE AND BUCKET. HE RAN IN THE DIRECTION OF THE INTERSTATE AND I DIDNOT FOLLOW.
MY MESSAGE IS THIS: GET YOUR PEOPLE IN ORDER "PHISH". AND NEVER COME TO ALPINE VALLEY AGAIN. SHAME ON YOU. I AM POSTING ON CRAIGLIST BECAUSE I HAVE USED IT TO SELL TRUCK PARTS AND LAWN FURNTITURE AND DOUBT AN EDITOR'S LETTER IN THE JOURNAL/SENTINEL WILL REACH "PHISH" PEOPLE, WHO MY NEIGHBOR SAYS ARE MOSTLY FROM ILLINOIS OR EASTCOAST. I AM ALSO LOOKING FOR AN APOLOGY FROM THE MAN WHO COMMITTED THIS ACT. HE LEFT BEHIND A WHITE HAT WITH AN ALIEN ON IT. ALSO A GLASS THING. I AM GOING TO THROW THEM AWAY.
I HAVE LIVED OFF OF COUNTY HWY D NEAR ALPINE VALLEY FOR THE PAST 24 YEARS AND OFTEN FEEL THE RESIDUAL NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF THE CONCERTS. NEVER HAVE I HAD AN INCIDENT SUCH AS THE ONE THAT OCCURRED ON SATURDY NIGHT (JUN. 20) FOLLOWING A "PHISH" MUSICAL. OUR DOG WOKE US AT 1:30 AM MAKING A RUCKUS. WE HAVE A SMALL WARMING HOUSE NEAR THE EDGE OF THE HIGHWAY THAT I BUILT FOR OUR DAUGHTERS (NOW GROWN) TO WAIT FOR THE SCHOOLBUSES IN. THE LIGHT IN IT WAS ON AND SOMEONE WAS INSIDE. I PUT ON CLOTHES AND APPROACHED AND FOUND HIM DEFECATING ON THE FLOOR. HAD HAIR LOOKED LIKE A DOORMAT. EYES WERE BUGGY LIKE I REMEMBER ON MEN IN VIETNAM. I HAD A SHOTGUN AND TOLD HIM HE WAS GOING TO CLEAN UP THE DEFECATE. BUT I AM OLD (71 NOW) AND MADE A MISTAKE, RETURNING TO THE HOUSE TO GET A HOSE AND BUCKET. HE RAN IN THE DIRECTION OF THE INTERSTATE AND I DIDNOT FOLLOW.
MY MESSAGE IS THIS: GET YOUR PEOPLE IN ORDER "PHISH". AND NEVER COME TO ALPINE VALLEY AGAIN. SHAME ON YOU. I AM POSTING ON CRAIGLIST BECAUSE I HAVE USED IT TO SELL TRUCK PARTS AND LAWN FURNTITURE AND DOUBT AN EDITOR'S LETTER IN THE JOURNAL/SENTINEL WILL REACH "PHISH" PEOPLE, WHO MY NEIGHBOR SAYS ARE MOSTLY FROM ILLINOIS OR EASTCOAST. I AM ALSO LOOKING FOR AN APOLOGY FROM THE MAN WHO COMMITTED THIS ACT. HE LEFT BEHIND A WHITE HAT WITH AN ALIEN ON IT. ALSO A GLASS THING. I AM GOING TO THROW THEM AWAY.
This is where it gets crazy...
At Echo Project I watched a wookette giving birth during the GZA set. I was just peaking on some 2ci. People were trying to get medical help, but they hadn't arrived. Some other wookette claimed to be a midwife and was coaching the woman through this. Her wook man is standing there shirtless and spun like top, just making these weird sounds while he is crushing his beer can and spraying coors light all over everyone. He looked really anxious about the whole thing, grabbing his face and just making grunts and stuff.
The baby's head starts to crown and the medics still haven't arrived.
This is where it gets crazy...
It was so fucking dusty out there and the baby and all the surrounding fluids were immediately "muddified" by the blowing dirt. I mean, its fucking gross. All of a sudden, this fucking kid (probably 19 or 20) in his oversized neon, flat-brim LRG hat, runs up yelling "welcome to the party bitch!" before he blows a huge plume of smoke right in the baby's face! While the umbilical cord is still attached and shit!
The smell was unmistakeable, this baby had just been deemster'd.
He must have pulled the hit from a bong, b/c it was monstrous. The surrounding crowd dropped their jaws, and someone tackled the kid as he starts to run away. He didn't make it more than 10ft and the he was probably blasting off about now.
The mom is clutching the dirty baby and trying to calm it. Though, strangely, the baby was not crying (tripping balls i guess?).
And while the dude is getting screamed at, the dad suddenly pounces into action. He jumps on the dude, and starts smashing said bisco kid's face with the crushed up beer can, of which he seemingly just can't let go. The bisco kid is kicking and trying to roll out of it and the wook-dad grabs the kid's hair w/ one hand. he finally let the can go and shoves his other hand half way inside the guys mouth. He is pulling his mouth open and RIPS HIS CHEEK OPEN! repeat: rips his fucking CHEEK OPEN!
there is blood everywhere and the dude lets out this braveheart-like scream as he gets pulled off by the folks around him. Blood all over bisco kid's face, shirt and formerly fresh flat breezy. The cops/medics arrived about that time and took over the situation.
Shit was crazy as hell.
The baby's head starts to crown and the medics still haven't arrived.
This is where it gets crazy...
It was so fucking dusty out there and the baby and all the surrounding fluids were immediately "muddified" by the blowing dirt. I mean, its fucking gross. All of a sudden, this fucking kid (probably 19 or 20) in his oversized neon, flat-brim LRG hat, runs up yelling "welcome to the party bitch!" before he blows a huge plume of smoke right in the baby's face! While the umbilical cord is still attached and shit!
The smell was unmistakeable, this baby had just been deemster'd.
He must have pulled the hit from a bong, b/c it was monstrous. The surrounding crowd dropped their jaws, and someone tackled the kid as he starts to run away. He didn't make it more than 10ft and the he was probably blasting off about now.
The mom is clutching the dirty baby and trying to calm it. Though, strangely, the baby was not crying (tripping balls i guess?).
And while the dude is getting screamed at, the dad suddenly pounces into action. He jumps on the dude, and starts smashing said bisco kid's face with the crushed up beer can, of which he seemingly just can't let go. The bisco kid is kicking and trying to roll out of it and the wook-dad grabs the kid's hair w/ one hand. he finally let the can go and shoves his other hand half way inside the guys mouth. He is pulling his mouth open and RIPS HIS CHEEK OPEN! repeat: rips his fucking CHEEK OPEN!
there is blood everywhere and the dude lets out this braveheart-like scream as he gets pulled off by the folks around him. Blood all over bisco kid's face, shirt and formerly fresh flat breezy. The cops/medics arrived about that time and took over the situation.
Shit was crazy as hell.
3 Foot Roor
I must say folks last night was the most intense night of my life. I was released from the hospital this morning, the doctor said i was lucky to be alive. With furthur tests i might have suffered slight brain damage, the doctors are at this moment unsure.
Yesterday me and a few buddies decided to drop acid, and during our trip we decide to smoke bowls. We were having a great time up until my friend said “hey i heard on a phish board that if you put gasoline in the bong it will get you way faded.” So being the stupid ass stonner that i am, i decided to indulge. We went to the local Chevron and put in $1 of premuium with techron into my 3 foot roor. I took the first hit. At first i felt really dizzy, i started vomiting, and then i passed out. That night i woke up in the hospital with the worst headache i have ever had. Needless to say i am luck to be alive.
I must warn everyone to never try anything like this again. I realize i have a slight drug problem and i am now enrolled in a treatment center. If i can give anyone advice it would be to never try anything that is out of the ordinary, no strage drug combos. BE SAFE OUT THERE PEOPLE!
Yesterday me and a few buddies decided to drop acid, and during our trip we decide to smoke bowls. We were having a great time up until my friend said “hey i heard on a phish board that if you put gasoline in the bong it will get you way faded.” So being the stupid ass stonner that i am, i decided to indulge. We went to the local Chevron and put in $1 of premuium with techron into my 3 foot roor. I took the first hit. At first i felt really dizzy, i started vomiting, and then i passed out. That night i woke up in the hospital with the worst headache i have ever had. Needless to say i am luck to be alive.
I must warn everyone to never try anything like this again. I realize i have a slight drug problem and i am now enrolled in a treatment center. If i can give anyone advice it would be to never try anything that is out of the ordinary, no strage drug combos. BE SAFE OUT THERE PEOPLE!
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